Sunday, March 8, 2009


So, I'm shockingly depressed right now, and God's granted me the grace to be somewhat objective about it. I've experienced Black Holes like this before, to lesser or greater extents. The most recent, before this one, was Very Hideously Black, and it was right after my largest theatre production experience yet: Alice in Wonderland. Now, I'm re-plunged in gloom, not quite to the same extent as before, but still pretty bad. Incidentally, today was the final performance of Acacia's Emily, for which I was helping backstage.

An analytical mind like the one God gave me jumps to the conclusion that my happiness and my involvement in theatre are inseparably connected, yet I shy away from the conclusion. Because this means a few things:

1. I'm much, much, MUCH more irresponsible and immature than I thought.
2. I'm far too in love with theatre. Too in love for my own good.
3. I can count on this Mood Swing thing. Now perhaps this one is not exactly logical, because there's always the possibility that I'll change.

Despite how much I want to believe that this is NOT the answer to my foul moods, I'm afraid it is. It's the post-show blues, and that's how it's going to work for me. I will need to get used to these swings, and I certainly hope they go away...soon.

Long live self-analysis!

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