Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Two Photo...Site...Things

It's been a while since my last post, and things have been racing past at a speedy speed. However, readers all, I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him, so this shall not be a long post. I have merely two links for you: first a political one. Interesting, but touching.

Second, a funny one. I don't even own an iPod, and there's no reason this should be funny, but it is.

Long live Haste!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

A Quick Question


What do we think of actors like Wesley Snipes and Jason Statham? And Bruce Willis, though I think he's a cut above Snipes and Statham?

Basically, they're popular for their action flicks: Snipes had the Blade trilogy, Statham had the Transporter franchise and Crank, and Willis has the classic Die Hard franchise. Another one who might fit the parameters of the query is Ahhhhhhnold (Terminator), though I'll leave him out out because he's not acting any more. Or rather, he still is acting, but in a different arena now.

Ha, so that was a low blow. And I really have nothing against Ahhhhhhnold, except that I hear he's a bit on the big-government side of the tracks. However, this post is not about Ahhhhhhnold. It's about what we're to think of action stars.

So: what are we to think of them? I sort of really, really like Bruce Willis' work, because I think he can actually act, as well as beat up bad guys. But the point is just that: should we lower our standards for what we admire just because action stars have to be burly and macho? Or should we try and hold them to higher standards? Can we accept "action" as a genre with its own standards of acting ability, or are we allowed to compare Snipes, Statham, and Willis to other actors, especially those who appear more often in more subtle types of roles?

I frankly don't have an answer. But it's an interesting question.

Long live Double Standards!

The Wrestler..

...is not a good movie. Don't go see it.
Okay, so I am uptight, provincial, moralistic, whatever. But the film's just nasty. Gratuitous gore, and the strip club scenes are way over the top. I realize the director was trying to make some comparisons between the wrestler, who's selling his body for the amusement of others, and the stripper, who's selling her body for the amusement of others. But still, the wrestler is the lead. Why, then, are we treated to only two fight scenes (the wrestler in his element) but five or six strip club scenes (the stripper in her element)?

And you know, I didn't really give the film a chance. Yes, I walked out. I really couldn't take all the Foulness any more, so I left. And for all I know, it improves. But this is yet another dent in the crown of The Critics, that elite group of snobs who tell us what's good and what's not. I have to admit, usually The Critics are able to spot really terrible movies, but I'm beginning to seriously distrust The Critics when they say a film's amazingly great.

The Wrestler does NOT have my vote for Best Picture.

Long live Independence of Thought!

Friday, January 23, 2009


There are some movies which make me gasp. These include films like Pulp Fiction, Snatch, Saving Private Ryan, Gods and Generals, The Dark Knight, The Shawshank Redemption, and...well, the list goes on. I gasp with amazement, not with horror or disgust or whatever else. It's the feeling of, "Wow, I just watched an excellent film." One such is Road To Perdition, with Tom Hanks. The film's got it all: suspense, drama, general awesomeness...I highly recommend it.

Long live Impulse Blogging!

Burn Notice And Other Distractions

Winterim is over and done. I'm rather sad about the fact: I really enjoyed the intensely academic atmosphere, the spending hours at a time studying the Bard, the small class size...Good times, good times. As a matter of fact, winterim is technically NOT over and done for me, because I still must needs write my take-home final. Speaking of which, I want to take this opportunity to give a shout-out to Dr. Tom Wilmeth, even though he'll probably never see this. Here's the thing: he could have made us take the final in-class, like everyone else did, so far as I know. But what did he do, in fact? He gave us a take-home final, and he gave us until 6 pm on Saturday to submit it, via email. If that is not cool, I don't know what is.

Oh, and by the way, I'll probably be finishing and sending that off around 5:52 pm Saturday.

Burn Notice! Hurrah! I actually got to watch the premiere last night, shortly after complaining bitterly about not being able to watch the premiere due to rehearsals. However, our Interesting director let us out half an hour early, which made all of us very happy. It made me happier, though, because I got to watch said premiere.

Ah, I remember the last distraction: I bought my textbooks at the bookstore yesterday. They cost way too much, par usual, but I was expecting that. I was more horrified when I went to Half.com and discovered that I could have gotten two of my books for about 30% of what I paid for them in the bookstore. I tell ya, extortion.

That is it for now. I must away (paper to write, etc.)

Long live laptop computers!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Ok, Sorry. There's More.

Stolen from my good buddy Hannah J, an accomplished bloggeress in her own right, is this link. Now: I know this is a very biased article, but everyone has some kind of bias. And you know, it's just touching to see someone standing up for poor Dubya. The man has been maligned. I only hope history is as good to him as it has been to William "Is" Clinton.

Long live Loyalty!

Laziness Is A Bad Thing

...And that, my imaginary friends, is the definition of a bland title. Titling my posts is the least of my worries right now. You know what is the greatest of my worries? Well, there're actually several, and I shall now proceed to List them, employing a List:

1. My continued inability to kick several habits. These include laziness, pride, poor priorities, deceit, and procrastination.

2. The fact that I will be missing the premiere of the new season of Burn Notice tonight. Normally this would not be among the greatest of my worries, but I could have used a period of relaxation.

3. Ambivalence of Opinion. This is quite worrying, because I now have encountered two entities about which my mind is not made up. Why worry about indecision? say you. Here's why: I usually have my opinions all set up and ready to go. This equivocation is not like me.

4. The fact that I missed the premiere of Lie To Me last night. Seriously: I was really looking forward to the show! And I forgot entirely it was premiering last night. GrrRRRrRRrRRRRrrrrrrrRRrRrRRRrRRRRrrRR.

5. *Fact Deleted, because of unkindness.*

6. The fact that that last sentence is not really true.

7. Planning surprise birthday parties for associates at wonderful restaurants, and then not being able to go to the party that I planned. See the last sentence of # 4.

However, in case you wanted to know, there are some things which are making me feel peaceful, which shall receive a numbered list of their own, using Roman numerals for variety:

I. The Scorpions. And AC/DC. And Metallica. Forget their antecedents and connotations: the bands have talent.

II. The fact that my memory project is over and done. And so is the paper, intended to accompany it. A definite relief right there.

III. The fact that this post is becoming an introspection instead of a philosophization. (Side note: if philosophization is not a word, well...now it is.)

IV. The fact that this post is an illustration of its title. In other words, the post is illuminating and illustrating the title, not the other way around.

V. Magically getting two free cans of Pepsi.

VI. See # 7 from the previous list, oddly enough. (Don't try to understand it. Just roll with it.)

VII. The fact that I just helped a friend out. It was very very cool, the feeling.

VIII. The fact that there are more of the Relievers than the Stressers. Count 'em! 8 Relievers, 7 Stressers. That, my Amicis, is called Running Out The Clock.

Oh, and the two entities are Twitter.com and the play Third.

Long live Lists!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Another Disturbing Atheism Site

WARNING: the link I will be embedding has graphic language and is NOT to be viewed by the faint of heart, or those who would be offended by the language. I hear said language every day, so I'm inured to it, but many of my readers could be very offended. SO: if you are offended by foul language, this link is NOT for you.

It's from "freethoughtpedia", an atheist wiki, as far as I can gather, and it's a list of "funny theist quotes". This is another example of the Enemy using "our" own stupidity against us. The fact is that the theists quoted in this interesting compilation represent the extreme lunatic fringe of our faith; most of them wouldn't even qualify as Christians, in my opinion. This is also informative for those of us who are mystified by accusations of intolerance--the Enemy is taking the reputation of the scum and applying it to all of us who preach Christ and Him crucified.

There is a Triune Enemy out there: the World, the Flesh, and the Devil. The World is insidious, and that insidious Enemy is doing the most damage with the worldview attacks. The Flesh is subtle, pulling us one way and then another with so-called "primal impulses". However, there's still an aggressive Enemy, the Devil, out there, and he's not going to go away either. He's the one that burned saints in Nero's gardens for amusement; he's the one that masterminded the slaughter of Huguenots; he's the one behind the reign of Bloody Mary. And he's the one now who's behind this intellectual onslaught.

Long live the worship of the True King!

More! More!

Yes, yes, my adoring fans, I realize that you've hardly finished reading my last flight of fancy, but I just realized: I need to work on creating shorter and snappier titles for these flights. Here's the conundrum: I think it's funny when people attach overly long and detailed titles to insignificant works. However, I am a peculiar person, and what's funny to me is not necessarily funny to the next adoring fan.

Ahem. The point of this post, which is intended to be brief, by the way, is to detail some of my more Imposing titles. I realize I'm a n00b at blogging, but HEY! I do what I want!

When it doesn't break the rules, of course.

And it doesn't defy the laws of physics.

However, Bah. Neither of those are being broken or defied, so Here Goes!

I Would Laugh, If I Weren't Crying Inside

You Know You're Out of Things to Blog About When...

You Know You're Out of Things to Blog About When...(Part the Second)

The Best-Laid Plans of Mice and Men Gang Aft Agley

Charles Algernon Swinburne: Or, Ian The Pontificator Is Lazy

Humiliation, Rejoicing, Condescension, Procrastination, and Other Uninformed Opinions

Breaking the Curse, and Other Uninformed Opinions

The Silence of a Sunday Afternoon at Concordia

So there ya have it, Homeslices. Yes, I just called you homeslices. Because I can.

Long live the Internet!

Charles Algernon Swinburne: Or, Ian The Pontificator Is Lazy

So...here's the dilemma of the ages: for English-loving Christians, which comes first, content or style? Well, obviously we don't accept as Gospel Truth the content which is anti-Christian, but are we allowed to even read stuff proposing and propounding bogus worldviews? If we're allowed to read said "propaganda", are we allowed to appreciate it?

I ask because I just found some Swinburne. Algernon Charles Swinburne, online, and Griffin only knows who or what decided to make it available. The point is, he has a wonderful command of the English language, in my uninformed opinion, and people should pay attention to him. However, he seems to be using a nihilistic type of worldview. (I say nihilistic because that's what it seems like. I could be wrong.) Anyhoo...here's the link.

Allow me, as well, to do some Quotage:

There go the loves that wither,
The old loves with wearier wings;
And all dead years draw thither,
And all disastrous things;
Dead dreams of days forsaken,
Blind buds that snows have shaken,
Wild leaves that winds have taken,
Red strays of ruined springs.

We are not sure of sorrow;
And joy was never sure;
Today will die tomorrow;
Time stoops to no man's lure;
And love, grown faint and fretful,
With lips but half regretful
Sighs, and with eyes forgetful
Weeps that no loves endure.

From too much love of living,
From hope and fear set free,
We thank with brief thanksgiving
Whatever gods may be
That no life lives forever;
That dead men rise up never;
That even the weariest river
Winds somewhere safe to sea.

Then star nor sun shall waken,
Nor any change of light:
Nor sound of waters shaken,
Nor any sound or sight:
Nor wintry leaves or vernal,
Nor days nor things diurnal;
Only the sleep eternal
In an eternal night.

Bogus, as we all know. Or as we all should know. But there's a ring of truth to it which freaks me out just a tad. This is hell he's describing, and it's all he can look forward to.

Long live the commingling of Introspection and Philosophy!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Final Thoughts Which Are Also Random

Good Sunday. The Arizona Cardinals and the Pittsburgh Steelers are in the Super Bowl, and while I could detail the awesome and super-cool storylines contributing to the drama of the Big Game, I don't think I will. Instead, I will talk about the games.

First, the wonderful, terrible, gut-wrenching NFC Championship Game, featuring the perennially underachieving Cards and the recently big-game-choking Iggles. Good game, especially that Philly comeback, followed by that 'Zona comeback. Whoo!

And then the (I guess) cool AFC Championship Game, featuring two teams that hate each other, namely the Baltimore Ravens and the Pittsburgh Steelers. I guess it was a good game...I didn't watch it, but...yeah.

This is not a sports blog! But I seem to have been sports blogging here; that's not a good thing. Well, I guess it's not a bad thing, but this blog is called Ian The Pontificator's Uninformed Opinion, not Ian The Sports Geek's Uninformed Sports Blog. If I'm going to command respect or anything similar, I'm going to need to pull out the big guns: Philosophy.

And yet, I'm not exactly in a philosophical mood. Griffin knows I should be, 'cause I just watched what may be absolutely the most philosophical movie ever: The Matrix. Okay, nonexistent philosophy nerds who're reading this, shut up. I know you all have your own particular favorite real philosophy movie, but bah! Shut up and listen.

Actually, don't listen, because I don't do this Talking When Others Are Paying Attention bit very well. See, I think the whole "Neo as Jesus" thing is overrated. Sure, sure, it's pretty awesome how there's all that blatant stuff with The One and resurrection and flying--wait, Jesus couldnt...well, it's all very obvio. And I wonder if perhaps the learned Wachowski siblings are trying to make us concentrate on something small to obscure the huge things. For instance, most of my Christian friends focus on the Cool Symbolism and don't think about the philosophical ramifications of the lines being delivered. Here's the question: is The Matrix trilogy, usw, propounding trustworthy or untrustworthy stuff?

I mean, seriously. Look at it sometime. And forget the symbolism for a minute, and just watch it. Pay attention, and try to think about it.

Long live far-ranging topics!


Here's a question: as I sit here watching these historically chokey and cursed Cardinals (how's about that for some alliteration?) try to make their first Super Bowl Ever (the ever should be capitalized; just roll with it), I wonder what will happen if they lose. Of course, those weird Iggles fans who are everywhere ("the greater good," anyone?) will be as close to joyful as they ever are, but what happens to the image of the Cards? If they lose, and since they're still ahead one can't write them off, they will have choked away a 24-6 halftime lead.

So: if the Cards lose, will they still be chokers/cursed? I can see both sides of the issue. Some would say, "Jinglepuffs, people, the Cardinals won two straight playoff games as underdogs. How can they still have the label of 'choker/cursed'?" Others, however, will say the opposite. Their spin will make just as much sense: "They were up by 18 points with the Super Bowl on the line! And they lose! Is that not the definition of choking?"

Now all this may be, and hopefully will be, moot, because I fervently hope the underdog (?) Cardinals pull this one out. But there's a whole quarter of football yet to play. Go Cards!

Oh, and long live Controversy! (Pronounced conTROVersy, not CONtroversy. I like the British pronunciation better.)

So yeah:

Long live Controversy!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Star Wars In Three Minutes

So I used to think my good friend KIMMIE! was the world's most embarrassing n00b when it came to Star Wars, but apparently she has a competitor. This made me laugh.

Long live creativity and hilarity in concert!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Gah! The Return


I have not posted in days and days. Or rather, to be grammatically precise, day and day. It has been since the 13th since I have posted, and I can only blame my lack of production on busyness, lack of motivation, and poor priorities. There's this class, see...

Either way, I learned that the BBC actually has guts. They portrayed Thersites as gay in their production of Shakespeare's Troilus and Cressida. Definitely a judgement call on the part of the director. Now, I'm all in favor of freedom of judgement calls on the part of directors, but isn't that taking things a bit too far?

Now I learn that we'll be watching the BBC's production of Antony and Cleopatra. I just hope Cleopatra isn't depicted as...good Griffin, the possibilities are endless.

The Saw series is messed up. Never seen one of the films in its entirety--I'm generalizing based on reviews and trailers--but one must be concerned.

Long live Catching Up On Stagnating Thoughts!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Who Watches the Watchmen?

Good question! I just ran across this blog, and I'm frankly terrified. This is atheism and anti-Christianity at its most organizedly horrific.

I'm still speechless.

People: keep your friends close and your enemies closer. They're not all sweetness and light. As a matter of fact, I'm coming to believe that they have neither sweetness or light, in any measure.

Long live perspicacity!

What an Amazing Happenstance!

Sit up and take notice, all you nonexistent readers!

A student at Florida State University did something praiseworthy. Take a picture, please, and make today a national holiday. This has never happened before in the history of the universe, and most likely will never happen again.

What, it's that obvious that I hate FSU? Hmmmm. Well, at least I'm not deceiving you all. I hate FSU, but Myron Rolle, the Rhodes Award-winning safety, is forgoing the NFL, where he'd no doubt have a good career and make serious money, for the musty confines of Oxford. Dang it! Here I was hoping he'd give up on a promising career in medicine and become a typical punky mediocre NFL safety.

You know what, to heck with my UF loyalties. More power to you, Myron!

Long live right priorities!

Monday, January 12, 2009

The Infestation

There are three teams with the nickname "Birds" in the NFL playoffs. Believe it! The Iggles are sometimes called the Birds, the Cardinals are sometimes called the Birds, and the Steelers...ha ha. No. The Ravens are sometimes called the Birds. Now if only Atlanta had been seeded differently, we'd have an all-Bird Conference Championship Sunday. Oh well. We're not in an ornithopter, so I guess we can't expect the most crazy and awesome stuff.

Long live crazy statisticians like Ian the Pontificator!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

I Would Laugh, If I Weren't Crying Inside

So sports journalism is an intriguing field. Too many sports journalists think they have to be a) overly technical or b) overly goofy, while in reality a good sports journalist should be technical and goofy at the same time.

And yes, that is wishful thinking.

I must admit, though, that Greg Urbano can pull off the overly goofy thing while still sounding moderately adequate. I offer for evidence this link. It made me laugh, which is hard to do.

Long live equivocation!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

You Know You're Out of Things to Blog About When...(Part the Second)

...you finish the top ten list from the day before.

So. With no further ado (and yes, I realize that I hadn't created too much ado to begin with, but who cares), here is the Top Five TITLTRTCBWOPDSRTC. Or, one might call it the TFTITLTRTCBWOPDSRTC. And if you want to know what those letters stand for, read my last post.

5. The laws regarding Internet crime. This one, I regret to say, is just a pet peeve of mine, and rationally, the punishment I recommend does not fit the crime. What punishment does Ian the Pontificator recommend, you ask? Death, is my answer. Whether it be piracy, spamming, or phishing, the perpetrators are all reprehensible and hard enough for law enforcement to catch that the enforcers should get some kind of reward for all their hard labor.
4. Snowdrifts. They're more of a menace than bears, which are quite a menace in and of themselves, as Mr. Stephen Colbert has pointed out. The thing is, bears are kinda rare, but snowdrifts are everywhere. And that was not intended to rhyme, but it did. Here's the thing: snowdrifts are as dangerous as bears, but they can form anywhere, and they are very annoying, which one can not say about bears. Bears are kinda cute.
3. Ads on TV. For the most part, they're terrible from a technical point of view. I could produce a better ad in my sleep than half the ones currently showing. They drive me crazy: abysmal layout, horrific audio, and grainy video. There should be some sort of Rules.
2. The BCS. No, don't implement a playoff system. Just put the University of Florida and some other team, maybe an undefeated one--I don't really care--and change the rules so UF can't be penalized. Should be a good game every year, and I foresee a dynasty arising.
1. Election of public officials. People always get mad because of the "wrong person" being elected. So here's what we do: take a whole bunch of eligible people out into the wilderness somewhere and provide them with one match. No knives, no food, no clothing. The last one left alive after a year is obviously equipped with unique problem-solving skills, relational abilities, and resourcefulness--obviously fit to be the next president, or governor, or senator, or coroner, or waste-water deputy inspector.

So there ya have it. Take it for what it's worth.

Long live Pontification on important details!

Friday, January 9, 2009

You Know You're Out of Things to Blog About When...

...you start making top ten lists.

So, 'tis now 2009, apparently (nobody ever tells me anything, so I'm just guessing on this point.) And that means that it's a new year (I figured that out all by myself! Aren't you proud?) Now, new years tend to evoke feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem, which is good, because as fallen human beings we need to have low opinions of ourselves. These feelings I referenced often prompt New Year's Resolutions, which involve feeble and laughable attempts at self-help. In the spirit, therefore, of New Year's Resolutions, I proudly present the inaugural "Top Ten Things I'm Too Lazy To Resolve To Change, But Which Other People Definitely Should Resolve To Change." One might abbreviate it the TTTITLTRTCBWOPDSRTC. If that's too long for you, you are stupid and should go away now.

There. Having slyly eliminated the stupid people from the room--what? Oh, crap, I'm being told that I just eliminated everybody. Well, the show must go on. Here, then, is my TTTITLTRTCBWOPDSRTC. And yes, I did just copy/paste that.
10. The status of nearly-extinct and endangered animals. They need to be declared free game. If one subscribes to the philosophy that only the fittest survive, commonly called "Survival of the Fittest", and one also has one's eyes open to the extent that one realizes that the human race is currently the fittest race on the planet, then one must obviously subscribe to the view that the Whales Must Die. Because they're not as fit as us. And if we need them, we can kill them. Cause we're fitter than those things.
9. Inconsistency. It needs to go away, for good. This makes me so angry. Nobody picks a position and then holds it any more. There's all this wishy-washy compromise stuff floating around out there. It must stop.
8. Macs. They need to go away for good. Or at least come down off their high horse and become fully compatible. It's called a VGA connection, Apple. Please.
7. Stupidity. It too needs to go away for good. There is no room for stupidity or stupid people. Look at the economy: run stupidly by a stupid man (Hank Paulson, not Dubya. I actually kinda admire Dubya.)
6. Horror Movie Directors. They need to stop being so scared of an R rating, and they need to realize that blood does not equal terror . I have a generally low view of horror movies in general (I believe good horror flicks are very few and far between), and every PG-13 "horror" movie that comes out is a disgrace to an already disgraced genre. Directors who want to make good horror need to realize that horror needs scary parts, and they also need to get past their fixation with gore. Torture is all very well, but audiences are becoming very sated with knives and death machines. Jump scenes, suspense, and subtle violence are much more terrifyiing, and much harder to pull off.

Well, this is taking far too long, and I want to go watch Righteous Kill, with Al Pacino and Robert De Niro. It should be good. Look for more of my TTTITLTRTCBWOPDSRTC later this evening.

Long live cliffhangers!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Best-Laid Plans of Mice and Men Gang Aft Agley

That's Robbie Burns, in case you were interested. He was a Scots poet, and he wrote in Scots dialect. Most of the time I can scarcely understand what he's saying, but speakers of the Scots dialect tend to love him. So I suppose I must cut Robbie Burns some slack. Anyway, I could not write poetry, worthwhile poetry which people would be reading hundreds of years after my death, to save my life. (Excuse me while I ponder the singular effect that cliche has on the sense of the sentence.)

There, done pondering. I am not here, ladies and gentlehobbits, to talk about Robbie Burns. Neither am I here to rail against my pathetic video-gaming skills, which have received plenty of practice, but insist on keeping me near the bottom of the pack as regards the pwning of n00bs. (I mean, seriously. I can't get past the Slime Eyes boss at the end of Level 3 of Zelda: Link's Awakening? And now I'm reading forum posts which say that LA is the easiest Zelda game. Griffin, I suck.)

Ah HA! You, my nonexistent readers, most likely are chuckling to your imaginary selves and saying, "Heh heh, he said he was not going to rail, and there he was, railing. Loser." Yet you, my phantom audience, are the losers, because that "rail" there was enclosed in parentheses, which, as everyone knows, divest railing of its legal and ecumenical significance. So no, that was not a rail. And yes, by thinking that it was, you are losers.

Speaking of catastrophes, this post is rapidly becoming a catastrophe. I intended to storm out of the gate with a whoop and a holler, and say all sorts of awesome and philosophical stuff about how we tend to make plans and then they don't happen and oftentimes it's our own fault that said plans don't happen. This was going to be prompted by and illustrated with my own experience this afternoon. I solemnly bound and covenanted myself to take a long nap, beginning at 12 and ending at 4.30. However, I got caught up in various pursuits (read: Zelda and Facebook) and now I only have 3 hours for sleep instead of 4.

But, as I mentioned above, I'm not going to do this. Wait, no. I didn't mention it above: I was going to, but here I am mentioning it for the first time. Heh heh. So, consider it mentioned: I am not going to pontificate on how we are our own worst enemies. Pity, perhaps, because that sounds like a good post. But I'm too sleepy.

Long live long naps!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Rating the Browsers

I like to think I don't do things the way everyone else does. Apparently, I'm not as unpredictable as I liked to imagine, but I'm still going to make my rankings, and I hope people will give their thoughts.

In my Uninformed Opinion, the browser war is a microcosm of both the video game console war and the PC/Mac war. It really comes down to what you've used, what you want, and what others tell you. However, changes can be made, as my experience proves.

With no further ado, therefore, my browser rankings, with comments (assume latest versions):

1. Mozilla Firefox--Simultaneously slick-looking, easy-to-use, and versatile, Firefox is widely accepted as the alternate to IE, which a lot of people seem to hate. Usually, I use Firefox.
2. Safari--Mac people tend to like Safari, because Safari is Apple's default browser. Its design is very much a Mac-type design, and Windows fans may find this annoying. I haven't used Safari much, but I've been very impressed by what I've seen.
3. Internet Explorer--the heavyweight of the group. IE has been around seemingly forever, and most people think of IE when they think of browsers. I used to be a hardcore IE fan, but Mozilla and Safari have it beat, in my opinion. While IE is comfortable for 68% of browser users, according to Wikipedia, most other browsers have already incorporated bookmark options, which IE still doesn't have.
4. Opera--I know little to nothing about Opera, and I understand it does have its die-hard fans. From my experience of it though, it's a bit heavy on the looks and light on the capabilities. I'm willing to give it a try, but I don't think I'm about to become a fan.
5. Google Chrome--Ha. Why exactly Google decided to try to hang with the big boys, I can't tell. Perhaps Google is one of the big boys, but I'm not sure they've proved it with Chrome. It's not unique enough to separate it from the pack, and the Incognito mode is its most individual feature. I seldom use Chrome, and I think it'll probably submerge into oblivion and mediocrity.

So that's it. Why exactly I did this, I don't know, but for what it's worth...that's my Uninformed Opinion.

Long live technological competition!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The Darkest Recesses

Tough, life is. That sounded like Yoda. I'm trying to ease the pain by composing rambling prose, and I think it's helping just the least bit. And...now it's stopped helping. I'm coming to realize what an ultimately selfish fool I am.

Here's an interesting conundrum: do I bare my heart here in the never-read confines of this blog, or do I distrust the internet? Of course for me the answer is distrust. So you, my non-existent readers, will never know just what Ian the Pontificator was feeling at 11.35 pm on January 6, 2009.

There's an interesting point: it's 2009. Yet I'm not inclined to Ramble, for some reason, about how fast life runs for us.

I'm fast coming to the conclusion that Timon had it right when he said, "I have a tree which grows here in my close, that mine own use invites me to cut down, and shortly I must fell it. Tell my friends, tell Athens, in the sequence of degree from high to low throughout, that whoso please to stop affliction, let him take his haste, come hither ere my tree hath felt the ax, and hang himself." In summary, Timon's saying: I have a tree here. I'm going to cut it down. If you want to get rid of affliction, turmoil, and suffering, you must kill yourself, and that right soon. Now, while self-murder is heinous, Timon's point is well-taken: death is the only certain, sure way to assuage the pains which accompany fallenness.

Long live dust, ash, and grey oblivion.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Humiliation, Rejoicing, Condescension, Procrastination, and Other Uninformed Opinions

I have a play to read. Therefore, I am going to try to keep this post brief, though of course you know how that goes. Yes, you. I did just address my readers in the second person. I think that's against the rules of blogging...I'm not for sure, because I'm new at this kind of thing, but in my limited experience of blogs, the second person doesn't happen too often.

There, see? I'm rambling. I pledged I wouldn't ramble. Blast it.

Ahem. Onward! Humiliation, Rejoicing, Condescension, Procrastination...the other Uninformed Opinions are going to have to make their own way.

First, above all, I think the words "warp the very fabric of" should be outlawed from science fiction.

Ahem, again. Humiliation: it is the middle name of the Big Ten. The Big Humiliation Ten. At least when it comes to football. Yes, I just did finish watching the Fiesta Bowl. And yes, I was Texas' #1 fan. And yes, I hate the guts of the Ohio State University, whether it be in football, basketball, wiffleball, or lacrosse.

That's where the Rejoicing comes in. Because for the last three years the Ohio State University has lost its bowl game. Because for the last three years the Ohio State University has been humiliated on a national stage. Because the Ohio State University had no business losing tonight's game. Are you kidding me? First, they waste a good defensive effort in the first half, settling for field goals three times. Then, they fail on two separate occasions to convert on 2-point conversions, missing out on 4 points which would have won the game for them. Finally, they give up a game-winning touchdown drive. Pathetic. Now were I a Big Ten supporter, I would be crying my eyes out and in denial. Since I'm not--in fact, since I'm a SEC supporter--I am laughing my head off.

Condescension. I'm not sure what exactly I was going to say about this one...ah, yes. A link. Heh heh. I really like xkcd, but this is one of the best.

Procrastination--I've accomplished that fairly well, I think. After all, it is midnight, and I have yet to begin reading Timon of Athens, which must be read before tomorrow morning at 8.30.

Long live great college bowl games!

Some Things Never Change...

...like jokes, and people. My good buddy Mike is a cynic, and he prides himself on the fact. I used to think that Mike is one-of-a-kind, unique, an anomaly. Apparently he's not; apparently he's actually the clone of a fellow named Apemantus who lived way back in Ancient Greece. Or at least Shakespeare thinks he did...I'm being rather disjointed. Basically, my Shakespeare class is focusing on Timon of Athens right now, and there's a character, Apemantus, in the play, who delights in saying the unexpected and impolite and true things, and this character reminds me of Mike. Or rather Mike reminds me of this character.

The point I'm trying to make is that the basic genres of people have undergone little change throughout recorded history. There will always be people like Apemantus, and there will always be people like Timon, and there will always be people like Flavius. As for me, the world is a mess, and I just need to rule it. (That quote is courtesy of Dr. Horrible.)

Long live predictability!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Ah, Message Boards!

So I was cruising about the dark reaches of sportsline.com, my favorite sports news site, and I discovered a very peculiar response to an article about the Philadelphia Eagles' defeat of the Minnesota Vikings, an outcome which fills me with the greatest joy and celebration. Here's the link.

Now, I am not a grammar Nazi by any means...ok, yes, I am a grammar Nazi. But what the heck was this character thinking?

The Silence of a Sunday Afternoon at Concordia

Silence, in my uninformed opinion, is kinda poetic. Especially because it doesn't happen too often. I am a cheap person, so I stay on-campus a lot to work, and the silence of the halls is markedly different from the clatter and rustle and echo that fills them when the semester is in full swing. I wish I were more of a poet, but unfortunately, I'm not a bard, which means no poems will be forthcoming regarding the silence of the halls. But the silence, the stillness, has a music to it, where one can hear the whisper of the wind past the windows, the creaking and dripping of the snow outside, the soft rumble of machinery outside, and yet nothing interrupts it.

No, I'm not high.

Stephen King has it right. Say what you will about the fellow, he's not afraid of attaching un-happy endings to his work.

Long live diligence in art!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Breaking the Curse, and Other Uninformed Opinions

So, perhaps...perhaps...the Arizona Cardinals have broken the curse which has bound them for, well, forever. At least it seems like forever. Put it this way: my esteemed father was not born the last time the Cards won a playoff game. So yeah, it's been a long time, and it's hard not to share in the joy that die-hard Cards fans, if such even exist, must now be feeling. They've waited long enough, and now they can enjoy it.

It seems, as well, that the San Diego Chargers have defeated the Indianapolis Colts 23-17 in overtime to win that game. I must say that I'm surprised; even though the Colts have had difficulty, even counterintuitive difficulty with the Chargers, I still expected and hoped that Tony Dungy and the oft-injured Colts would ride their hot streak into the title game, at least.

But on the whole, it was a good night for football. Even though I'm still not sure San Diego belonged in the playoffs, they played a good game tonight, and nothing says "legitimacy" like winning in overtime. Well...perhaps there a few things which say "legitimacy" better, like a big bronze placard which says "Legitimacy" on it, but figuratively...you know what, to heck with it.

Closing thoughts, then, are in order, and they are as follows:
First, the Terminator franchise takes itself way, way too seriously, and yet I don't hate the series. Usually, if a movie or series of movies takes itself too seriously, I dislike it, instinctively. Terminator is too much fun to be worth anything as a serious critique of an increasingly automated society, or as a philosophical exploration of time travel, either.
Secondly, I'm not sure if I admire or despise Sylvester Stallone as an actor.
Third, my window is making funny noises.

From the sublime to the ridiculous, right there.

Long live self-awareness!


Heh, little Joker quote there. So I decided to begin writing a blog, because I can, and most likely I'll lose interest in a few weeks. If that happens, Oh Well, is my opinion. I am bored, therefore I blog. That works.
I want to tell everyone that the film Pinata: Survivor Island is a crappy movie, and one which should be seen by everyone who has any ounce of artistic and cinematic sensibility. While this seems like an oxymoron, it's not. I swear it's not. There are some movies that are so bad they're good, and Pinata: Survivor Island is one of these. The basic plot is as follows:
1. Magic clay pinata is made to house an evil spirit, or something like that.
2. Stereotypically drunk and stoned college students arrive on an island where the evil pinata was tornadoed to.
3. One particularly annoying, drunk, stoned, blonde student finds said evil pinata and wakes it up somehow.
4. Said pinata rampages about the island killing said stereotypical students.
5. Somehow, while the rampage is going on, the stereotypical students find time to over-act and demonstrate the fundamental weakness of the script. Also, they deliver some absolutely horrible one-liners.
6. Eventually, some of the stereotypical students survive. This is because the creators of this film obviously had no guts. They had to let someone survive. This weakness is a common one for wimpy creators of horror movies: they let someone live, and they establish how to kill, maim, disfigure, or otherwise incapacitate the antagonist. In my humble and uninformed opinion, this is stupid. The most horrifying films, in my experience, are the ones where everybody dies and the antagonist escapes, as omnipotent and frightening as ever. Of course, it takes real guts to do this, because people like the semi-happy ending. Such bravery is seldom to be found in directors or writers of horror films, which is a very great pity.
So that's my uninformed opinion. Watch Pinata: Survivor Island, please, to see what terrible film-making really is. Here's the imdb.com link...http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0201844/...and rottentomatoes didn't give it a rating. It's crap, I tell you!

Now I realize that this hasn't exactly been the prototypical introductory entry to a blog, but I'll do what I want. So let me close with a recommendation for a good film: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. The film is unique in several different ways: it's a musical, it's only 40 minutes long, it was written during the Writer's Strike, and it was originally released online. Oh, and it stars Neil Patrick Harris, and he's singing. Despite these unorthodox aspects, the film is very definitely worthwhile, and it's available on youtube! So please, if you have any ounce of respect for my movie opinions...wait, no. That's a bad argument. Let me restart that one.
So please, if you have any ounce of respect for...hmmm...Joss Whedon, the director, you'll watch this movie.

This is Ian the Pontificator, signing out.