Saturday, January 3, 2009


Heh, little Joker quote there. So I decided to begin writing a blog, because I can, and most likely I'll lose interest in a few weeks. If that happens, Oh Well, is my opinion. I am bored, therefore I blog. That works.
I want to tell everyone that the film Pinata: Survivor Island is a crappy movie, and one which should be seen by everyone who has any ounce of artistic and cinematic sensibility. While this seems like an oxymoron, it's not. I swear it's not. There are some movies that are so bad they're good, and Pinata: Survivor Island is one of these. The basic plot is as follows:
1. Magic clay pinata is made to house an evil spirit, or something like that.
2. Stereotypically drunk and stoned college students arrive on an island where the evil pinata was tornadoed to.
3. One particularly annoying, drunk, stoned, blonde student finds said evil pinata and wakes it up somehow.
4. Said pinata rampages about the island killing said stereotypical students.
5. Somehow, while the rampage is going on, the stereotypical students find time to over-act and demonstrate the fundamental weakness of the script. Also, they deliver some absolutely horrible one-liners.
6. Eventually, some of the stereotypical students survive. This is because the creators of this film obviously had no guts. They had to let someone survive. This weakness is a common one for wimpy creators of horror movies: they let someone live, and they establish how to kill, maim, disfigure, or otherwise incapacitate the antagonist. In my humble and uninformed opinion, this is stupid. The most horrifying films, in my experience, are the ones where everybody dies and the antagonist escapes, as omnipotent and frightening as ever. Of course, it takes real guts to do this, because people like the semi-happy ending. Such bravery is seldom to be found in directors or writers of horror films, which is a very great pity.
So that's my uninformed opinion. Watch Pinata: Survivor Island, please, to see what terrible film-making really is. Here's the link... rottentomatoes didn't give it a rating. It's crap, I tell you!

Now I realize that this hasn't exactly been the prototypical introductory entry to a blog, but I'll do what I want. So let me close with a recommendation for a good film: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. The film is unique in several different ways: it's a musical, it's only 40 minutes long, it was written during the Writer's Strike, and it was originally released online. Oh, and it stars Neil Patrick Harris, and he's singing. Despite these unorthodox aspects, the film is very definitely worthwhile, and it's available on youtube! So please, if you have any ounce of respect for my movie opinions...wait, no. That's a bad argument. Let me restart that one.
So please, if you have any ounce of respect for...hmmm...Joss Whedon, the director, you'll watch this movie.

This is Ian the Pontificator, signing out.

1 comment:

Hannah J said...

Nice beginning! Now, here are my suggestions to get you rolling and possibly begin a blogging addiction...

Check out the imbed-link feature. Very handy. Also, if you use labels on posts, put the widget that displays the labels on the sidebar. Comments can also be done with a popup window, although I like this format. Very much like Facebook. Moderate comments if they become troublesome and/or very numerous; alternatively, adjust the settings to have Blogger email you (if this setting isn't already set that way now). Double-space between paragraphs. All paragraphs. Get some sort of quote or catchy picture to put in behind the blog header.


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